Parenting Thoughts

Parenting, Parents, Kids, Teens, Toddlers, Babies

Hey there!

Welcome to Parenting Thoughts!

I have a passion for children and this is simply a blog for me to share my thoughts.

I love conversations and new perspectives so please feel free to join in on the discussions! Even start new ones!

Have a request for something I should post about? By all means leave it in the comments section ūüôā

Hope you enjoy and Good-life to you all.

Featured post

Secret confession…

I can’t help but cringe when parents call their children “little booger”. I never speak up about this, but I can’t stand this one.

Any “adoring” petnames ever ¬†make you cringe?

Favorite line of the day:

“Breastfed babies are especially portable” — Don’t know why, but this got me laughing pretty hard.

Don’t comment judgement on another parents photo.

If your mom friend or dad friend posts a cute pic of their baby to share with you please do not comment on their parenting choices. Unless there is possible danger, and or your just giving friendly advice, you come off as a dick.

I’m sorry for being so blunt, but I fear you won’t get the point if I don’t.

For example, if your friend posts a pic of her two month old do NOT comment “why is that pacifire in her mouth”- just because you are anti-pacifire doesn’t make your parenting choices the only choice.

This is totally different if they’re expressing frustration for something and you are providing suggestions. Its also totally different if you see a potential hazard.

That being said if your fellow mom/dad is co-sleeping don’t degrade them for the choice. You can ask if they have considered all of the risks(you may even provide the risks) but know over all it is their choice. Do not say “Don’t let that baby sleep in your bed!”- thats just rude.

Know the difference between advice and a command. Do NOT command other people on how to take care of their child. Its frankly just makes you look bad.

This ones for you.

This is for the mothers who carried their baby for a short time in their stomachs.
This is for the parents who had to say good-bye before they got to formally say hello.
This is for the parents who got to feel the kicks and wiggles, but never got to see the smiles and giggles.
This is for the parents who got to hold their baby for just a moment or two before that beautiful heartbeat you feel in love with faded away.
This is for the parents with no one to hold.
This is for that dads who only got to hold their baby in moments of good-bye.
This is for the parents who never got to hold their baby.

This is to awknowledge your pain and your loss, but more than that, to awknowledge you as parents.

Your child may not work this earth but you are moms and dads. Please, share your pictures, your stories, you memories(no matter how small). Brag about your beautiful baby(no matter how short their lives were). Share your ultrasound pictures every year. When your asked if you have kids say YES. I know it hurts, actually scratch that, I cant even imagine, but you don’t have to hide your bond. Its there. Share it with the world.

oh and p.s. heres to the parents who love their angel babies just as much as their rainbow babies. Loving another child doesn’t take away your love for your other kids. You can be happy with your children and still miss the ones you lost.

October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month- so heres to you and your babies. Good-life to you all.

Breastfeeding excuses/claims that make me want to scream.

I support breastfeeding as a first choice. That being said I understand when it doesn’t work out. From lifestyles, to mitosis, to feeding strikes or adversion. I understand, breastfeeding doesn’t work for everyone. I believe it should be a first choice, not the only choice.

That being said there are some claims about BF that make me want to bang my head against a wall when I hear them.

“I don’t breast feed/You shouldn’t breastfeed because thats disrespectful to your partner/husband/boyfriend/baby-daddy.” — This one makes me angry on so many levels. I try to respect different lifestyles, opinions, and perspectives as much as I can, but this one kills me. First off, your partner doesn’t own your breasts. He/she doesn’t. You do. Lets be real here. They’re a part of you. You own them. Your husband does not own you. It’s 2016. If you really want to argue that someone other than you owns your breast then at most I might accept that your baby does(which I honestly don’t agree with either), I mean after all they’re MADE for your babies, right? So how exactly is feeding your child disrespectful¬†to your partner? I guess if you see breastfeeding as something sexual (which would be a problem in itself) then maybe I can understand it being “disrespectful” to your partner. I just don’t get it… I especially don’t get it when you tell other people not to do this for this reason. Please don’t.

“If they can walk/talk they shouldn’t be on the breast.” —¬†Just, why? That’s it. Why?
How does walking or talking have any effect on the nurtitional value of breastfeeding? I knew someone whos 8 month old, I’ll say it again EIGHT MONTH OLD could walk. All on his own, no help what so ever. Are you telling me that because he can walk he shouldn’t be breastfeeding, but an eight month old who can’t walk yet can still breastfeed? How does that make any sense? How does walking effect breastfeeding? What do you mean if they can ask for the breast they shouldnt be on it? Do you mean a child who can say “baba” shouldnt be on a bottle? Or is it just the boob thats not okay. If thats the case how does the breast all of a sudden become not okay when a child can say “milk” (which can be around one)? Their walking or talking¬†does not effect the benefits of breast milk. (if its a personal fear of teeth thats a little different, but again that should be a personal thing not something you push onto others.)

“It’s really just for you at this point.”— If you say this to someone I will personally walk up to you and slap you across the face. Okay, so I probably won’t slap you, but I will go on a very long rant. Breastfeeding is not easy. Even though a lot of mothers do love it(the bonding, their baby being a little one), there are so many reasons to hate it. Majority of mothers are both happy and sad when BF ends, but I can promise you there is very few(if any) who would purposfully extend breastfeeding for themselves. Unless you actually know the facts on breastfeeding (like the fact that the world health organization recommends it until two or that its nutritional value never just stops and studies show that it actually changes with the child even after infancy. ) then do NOT say this to a mother. If you knew the facts, you probably would know that its a stupid thing to say.

“You just like having your nipples sucked” —¬†If you say this, you better back away from me very fast because I might actually slap you for this one. How dare you turn breastfeeding into something sexual. You basically just implied that that woman is sexually abusing her child by FEEDING THEM. Now don’t get me wrong, I know there are some horrible parents out there. You can even find some BF videos on youtube that claim to be “educational” but clearly have a different motive. Those cases are not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about when a parent admits they breastfeed a toddler or preschooler and someone makes that claim. I’m talking about parents who do extended breastfeeding for all the right reasons(which is the majority of them) and get sexualized. This is the absolute worst thing you can say.

“I don’t breastfeed because I don’t want my kids seeing my boobs.” —¬†I’m kind of stuck on this one. I mean on one hand, personal choice. But on the other, why? How is it going to hurt them to see your breasts? It is not a sexual act. They are not sex organs. That being said your infant DID come out of your vagina… I just don’t get this one.

“I didn’t want to change my diet” — Unless your child has allergies, you really don’t have to change your diet.

“After *insert certain # of months* the breast milk turns to water and is bad for your child” —¬†no… just no. Thats not a thing. That doesn’t happen. Just no.

Feel free to add to the list if you’d like. Good-life to you all.

The abortion battle.

*disclaimer this is my personal opinion. This is an extremely confrontational subject and while I do allow questioning, disagreement, opinions, and support I do not allow attacks. Feel free to disagree, share your thoughts, or discuss this further with me, however, any rude, insulting, or straight on attacks will be filtered out of the comment section.*

This is an on going arguement. Nearly every time I see a post/video on this subject from either side my opinion changes a little. I am not pro-life. I am also not pro-choice. I live in some weird grey area that seems to be only inhabited by one. In this debate that has just about sided everyone its near impossible to find someone not on a side. Well, here I am.

Its a fetus.
Its a baby.
It can’t survive outside of the womb.
It has a heartbeat.
It has no understanding of whats happening let alone its existance.
It can feel pain.
My body, choice.
Not your body, not your choice.

You have rights. Your rights are yours as long as they don’t impede on any one elses.

A womans rights are not worth more than a babies. A fetuses rights are not worth more than a womans.

So who wins here? I guess it could be easy to say “your not murding the woman by making her carry the baby.” well, you could be. Between complications of pregnancy and health reasons that can be the reason for the abortion in the first place you COULD be killing her.
I know what you pro-lifers are thinking “Its such a small amount of abortions that are for medical reasons, thats not a fair argument.” Well, sure it is a small number. Some statistics even say 7% (I count abortion as a medical reason), a tiny percent really. But, when your talking about illegalizing abortion are you JUST talking about the 93% or abortion as a whole? Chances are when you protest it, and debate it you aren’t just talking about that 93%. Even if you do, thats not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about abortion as whole. All 100%.¬†So both sides can be murder.
A woman shouldn’t have to give up her bodily autonomy for a fetus. Why does a fetus get more rights to that womans body than she does? I mean that is whats happening here. Your saying that fetus can change and alter a womans body and lifestyle all it wants and she has no say in it. Her body becomes permanantly altered for the rights of a fetus. A child can be concived on birth control.

A fetuses rights are not worth more than a ladies. A fetuses life isn’t worth more than a womans. A woman shouldn’t be signicicantly altered, possibly murdered, for the life of a fetus.

A womans rights are not worth more than a babies. A womans life isn’t worth more than a fetus. A fetus shouldn’t be murdered for the health of a woman. A fetus shouldn’t be murderd for the body of a woman. A fetus shouldn’t be murdered for the convinence of a woman.

The fetus didn’t ask to be brought into this world. Fetus has human dna. Fetus has its own body. Sure, Fetus doesn’t have comprehension, but neither does a six day old infant. If you stab a pregnant woman in the stomach and she survives, but the fetus in her that she WANTED doesn’t, I believe thats murder. So whats the difference between that and abortion? Just because the fetus isn’t “wanted” doesn’t take away its rights. A woman shouldn’t be able to murder a fetus because she’s not ready or she’s scared.

I was raised to believe that sex was a comittment. A comittment to your partner and a comittment to the consiquences. When you have sex its like signing a contract that says “I accept the possibility of pregnancy and disease”. Is abortion part of the consequence(like parenthood or adoption) or is it avoidance? Its impeding on a fetus you createds life. Sometimes you don’t choose to have sex.

What if you removed the fetus? Intended premature birth. I mean really, If your pro-life argument is “its not your body” and your pro-choice argument is “Its my body” then isn’t seperating the two bodies a solution for all? The fetus gets medical help to increase its chance of survival no differant than any other human being(which is what we claim the fetus is ). The mother gets her bodily autonomy.

The question then is does that person still get to be the parent if the fetus survives? Clearly if they choose to endanger their infants life for convience they shouldnt be a parent. However, what if they want kids later on? Do they still have that right?

The fetus is given a chance to survive without the mother being forced into pregancy.

Are we willing to accept that that fetus is probably going ot die anyways being so premature. That at 22 weeks(which is After most abortions take place) 80% of babies born at 22 weeks die before they are even discharged from the NICU. OR the fact that over 25% of these infants if they DO survive will have disablilities? How many people in this world wil actually adopt these disabled babies ?

I mean in this case we ARE giving both their rights, but is it really worth it?

Plainly I don’t see a solution. I don’t feel abortion is right. I don’t feel forced pregnancy is right either. Even the middle ground has too many morally grey areas.

Anyone with some out of the box thoughts? Please share. Good-life to you all.

Breast Feeding

The first choice.
Beastfeeding should ALWAYS be the first choice. I believe this with all my being. There are so many benefits to breastfeeding that it should be seen as a first choice. It should be taught as a first choice. Nutrition to bonding breast is best. 
Not the only choice.
I said it should be the FIRST choice not the ONLY choice. Yes breast feeding has more benefits than formula, it does, there are no arguments against it. However, this isn’t a life or death situation. If your child is fed and cared for (no matter how) then you are an amazing parent.
As a first choice you should try.
I believe no matter the person or situation breastfeeding should be attempted. If you go to work or school, you should try to get it done. If there are physical reasons against it you should try to find ways around it. If all else fails, consider donated breastmilk instead of formula.
It’s okay if it didn’t work out.
There are so many reasons breastfeeding doesn’t work. So many. Just because one person can work through the problem that stopped you doesn’t make you bad for stopping. No two situations are a like(no matter how similar they sound). Do NOT feel bad if breastfeeding doesn’t work for you. If you breastfed for one day or two weeks or three months or even two feedings, you did a great job. I, personally, am proud of you. Go you, super mom.
Don’t let others convince you to stop.
For some reason for the first 6-12-18 months(depending on the person, different claims from different people) breast feeding is an absolute must. If you dont do it you’re some how a bad parent. Then magically after this point your some how the bad parent for “allowing it to continue”. The WHO supports breast feeding until 2 and beyond. MANY doctors and proffessionals support breastfeeding toddlers. A lot even support breastfeeding preschoolers. There have yet to be any studies that say or prove negative results of breastfeeding toddlers and preschoolers, however there have been many positive benefits that are proven. Don’t let people tear you away from your goals.
Be proud if you breastfed to your goals.
Whether your goal was 6mo, a year, two years, three, or until your child chose to ween, you have every right to be proud (hell you can even brag a little if you want) of reaching those goals.
Its okay if you didn’t reach your goals.
As long as you tried, you have a right to be proud. Its okay if you didnt hit your goal. You can be proud of what you HAVE done.
Continue reading “Breast Feeding”

Excuse me, Birth-Mothers?

I have a question, I hope you don’t mind.
If you placed your infant up for adoption how would you feel about the Adoptive-Mother breastfeeding them?
This topic is interesting to me, because I can understand both sides.
I can understand a B-mom loving the idea due to the fact that its great nutrition. I can also understand B-mom not liking the idea because its one of the few bonding moments that she (and only she) got to share with her baby.
Honestly though, I would love to hear from you. Would it bother you? Would you support it? Would you care much either?

This really is a personal topic so there is no right answer. How would you feel if A-mom asked you at a pre-meeting? How would you feel if she did without asking?

Please share your thoughts! Good-life to you all.

Dear Parents,

You’re here to teach your kids, not tell them. Here’s a reminder to do a little more teaching today.

Good-life to you all!

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