Believe it or not, I think you want to teach your kids to talk back.
“why would I want my kids to talk back” Well, first off, we’re not saying raise kids who give attitude and argue every little point. We’re simply saying your kids should be raised with the courage to question what doesn’t seem right.
Teaching a child to talk back and discuss decisions (such as punishments, plans, and rules) is an amazing ability to have into adulthood(when following authority blindly can be a lot more dangerous then an “unfair” grounding).
Always give your child the right to an explanation. Whether it be rules or punishments your child should have the right to ask why(and get an answer). When you tell your eight year old they cant be out after dark, its okay to give them an explanation. Its even better if they ask for it. If no one ever questioned rules could you imagine how many unfair laws would be on the books right now?
Discussing punishments. I know, if every kid had there way they wouldn’t be punished at all, and if you’re upset with your child for their behavior you surely don’t want to debate with them on how they’re being punished. However, could you imagine if a teacher told your child to run 12 laps around the track for not turning in homework and your child never even questioned it? I think we’d all be proud of our kids for speaking up and saying “Mr. I don’t think that punishment is very fitting to what I did.” in that situation, fact is they aren’t going to know how to do that if we never let them question punishment at home. Not only can allowing this type of discussion help your child speak up for themselves, it can also help them take responsibility for what they did. It also gives you an image on how severe or simple their actions were. How to do this; when you set out rules in the first place, explain what punishments go with them and why. If its a punishment for an action you didn’t discuss before hand explain why you choose said punishment and ask them what they think of it.
Always explain why. In everything you do, explain why your doing it. When your child does something, ask them why. Familiarizing your child with “why” is such an important thing in the world today.
*disclaimer, I am in no way saying this is the best, only, or right way to parent. I’m simply sharing some perspective.*
Good-life to you all.