Now in a lot of cases when it comes to parenting it’s not anyone else’s place to judge a parents decisions or styles. In most cases it should be a “mind your own” situation. However, sometimes it’s definitely okay to 1. have an opinion on someone else’s parenting or 2. step in.  Sometimes its necessary.

Other times, as caring individuals(or opinionated ones), we just can’t help ourselves, whether its necessary or not.

I think everyone has parenting pet peeves(even those who aren’t parents).

So here’s my biggest: Judging your child’s needs by size. I mean I realize that your barely two year old looks four or five, but hes still a toddler. Just because he looks like a big kid doesn’t mean he’s ready to behave and be treated like one. He might LOOK to big to be held, but its not impossible and he certainly needs it.

When I was younger I had a nephew, well call him Joel. Joel was born premature, now for some reason he grew like a weed. I know most premature babies can take years even to catch up, but by six months I had strangers telling me I was lying about his age. I’m not joking, while out to dinner I had an old couple politely ask about how old he is, when I responded “almost seven months” they insisted I was wrong or lying (until his mother came back and confirmed). Now Joel’s older brother(also born a premie) was the complete opposite, as he struggled with eating. So by the time Joel was two his older brother was eight. Joel weighed more than half of what his brother weighed.

What really irked me about this situation was that his mother treated him as if he was the age he looked, not the age he was. With one child behind and him being ahead, he really did seem a lot older than he was.

I remember specifically one time Joel was behaving really upset(now I spent every weekend with these kids, I knew their signals) I was bouncing him and holding him in my arms trying to comfort him and my sis said to me “Stop babying him, hes just upset because he couldn’t have that toy. Put him down. He’s too big to be held”. I really wanted to say “I’m babying him because he needs it.”, but he said it for me. Moments after his mom said that to me(and right before I put him down via her wishes) he threw up down my shirt. For some reason she still claimed he shouldn’t be held. She cleaned him up, comforted him (refusing to hold him, sitting next to him rubbing his back). She said he’s too big..

He certainly wasn’t too big as in she literally COULDN’T hold him (I was sixteen and managed holding him just fine, she was much larger than me.) and this wasn’t the only behavior or decision she attributed to his size as if that was his age.

He was a two year old.

My point here after that long story is that your child’s size is not their actual, mental, or emotional age. Your two year old could look like a seven year old and still need that two year old type attention. Your one year old could look three and still be a baby.